Bonghits from Palookaville

End of year angles for angled lenses

2010-12-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

Boy have I been bored. Bored enough to neglect this blog but busy enough to be bored with other particulars. Been playing a lot of the Yahoo Mahjong Medley. It strains my eyes, it is not productive save for the lie I tell myself that it'll improve my vision for when I become a fighter pilot... or some such shit. Been checking out some cool tunes though and the Blast From the Past columns over in the South Florida New Times publications are gonna get even better next year. That's a promise. They pay, this blog doesn't. This blog makes me look busy and that's all that matters. Yup. Specially when I'm bored.

Slow and churned and golden stemmed

2010-05-19T13:12:00.000-07:00

Here I am killing the Tahoma capy that ails me and I've been feeling like the initials three/four years ago... was it? When this came in to replace other pursuits and slow-turned into a death counter but since I now get paid for obits I've largely forgotten this shit.

Who cares. No more stalking Miranda July and no more clever pictures of what ear infections look like or dull recounts of evenings lost into alcohol abuse... nah. I got a nephew recently and he's cute as a bug! That's pretty good and as soon as I find that damn jump drive I'll get back to the albums list.

Ooh so fun and lookit! Just killed ten minutes of the day. A weyr of dragons.

The slow thread

2010-04-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

It was my pops' birthday yesterday. Awesome! He text messages me now. Even more awesome.

Beautiful South Florida

2010-03-29T10:35:00.001-07:00

I just watched a squirrel die after getting electrocuted on a power line. It shivered and shivered while the rain fell on us.

The internet has it all!

2010-03-25T18:08:00.000-07:00

You should really be checking the Miami New Times' Crossfade blog, where sensible Miamians endure my musings on local music, past, present and future! Check out my Blast from the Past on the first Futurisk 7". Crucial and vital info for real people with discerning taste. Should I link it? No! You should dig for it!!!

Make clicks on this!
Miami New Times!

Who's got a scissor I can keep?

2010-03-25T18:05:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling a little refurbished, what, with the migrating of the albums list from my Facebook account where I get to inflict my taste upon my friends. Here it's available in a better spread and I'm more conscious of spelling and shit. The grammar though, jeez, it's almost like I don't have a degree in English language and literature. Aha. Blogger's got spellcheck! [Insert cute "emoticon" here]. Huzzah!

Teddy bear, teddy bear, gimmie some light

2010-03-24T15:26:00.000-07:00

Ooh, that does feel better. Much better. Let's see if I can keep up. Intake valve in full effect. Looking to upswing on assisted shenanigans very soon. Operate green. Read the Miami New Times' Crossfade Blog. Some fun things in there. Guaranteed.

The 4000 albums that matter (Part One)

2010-03-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

01. SLAYER -- SOUTH OF HEAVEN. This was my first taste of Slayer and it's been pretty much love since. Especially the title track, as it taught me that sometimes the slow parts are heaviest of all. Regardless of which, I like it when Chris Graham spun this at the club where I used to work at on the weekends, which I guess he can’t anymore, because it “kills” the indie-rock/hipster vibe. Bullshit.

02. SEPULTURA -- BENEATH THE REMAINS. Closely after finding out about "American" and "British" metal, I would discover brutal music a couple hours south of where I lived. This album opened the doors of discovery into Brazilian music, and not the type my dad listened to [though those will creep up here at some point]. Sarcofago's INRI is a close second, but I heard this album first. Wow.

03. N.W.A. -- STRAIGHT OUT OF COMPTON. I still have this on double wax, the way our good lord Eazy E intended for it to be. Hands down a classic, regardless of whether it fuckstarted the whole gangsta rap thing or not. This is the album that did it for me and it's the one I continue to revisit in these dark days of "ring-tone" hip-hop. The fake AK sound on the title track during Cube's delivery is one of my musical guilty pleasures!

04. RAMONES -- ROAD TO RUIN. You have no idea how much radio play this album got in Venezuela and the rest of Latin America. To say that some of my first English were Ramones lines wouldn't be a lie for me and many kids who grew up in the late 70s, early 80s South America. Their simplicity still astonishes me and I wear my leather jacket with pride. From beginning to end. And loud as HELL!

05. MINOR THREAT -- OUT OF STEP. I clearly have never subscribed to the straight edge culture/lifestyle, whatever, but the impact that this album had on American [and international] hardcore is undeniable. A full exercise on compression and existentialist lashing out. Youth! And like Emil I believe mentioned in his list, not dated at all. Minor Threat is as fresh today as it was then. Maybe not some of the messages, but the energy, my god the energy!!!

06. ARTURO SANDOVAL -- I REMEMBER CLIFFORD. Sandoval's tribute album to Clifford Brown is one of the most earnest exercises on genuine musical affection that I had and have heard since. Toning down the Latin and going a more traditional route I know lost some of his hardcore fans on this recording but it did introduce him to many more listeners who had previously dismissed him as a Latin-oriented musician. Boy were they fooled. Sandoval is one of the most versatile instrumentalists in the jazz field and this is the album to point the infidels to.

07. PIXIES -- BOSSANOVA. I think I picked this album up cuz it said Bossa Nova on the cover. Boy was I fooled. And to be told later by friends that the Pixies had been around for years was an even bigger kicker to the balls cuz I really enjoyed the album a lot, even if it wasn't in Portuguese. Now I'm a fan of the entire catalogue, but it was on whim and confusion that I became involved with the Pixies.

08. DESORDEN PUBLICO -- DESORDEN PUBLICO. Desorden Publico, from Caracas, Venezuela were the band that opened my eyes and love to supporting a local scene since they were from near my neighborhood in Caracas. Their mix of two-tone ska, pop punk and Latin American politics via a bizarre take on New Wave is still the Cadillac to follow for musicians in the region.

09. SANTANA -- SANTANA (III) / CARAVANSERAI. While Abraxas is the album that everybody claims, it was my double purchase of Santana (III) and Caravanserai [1971 and 1972] that really got me. The transition, or rather, appropriation of jazz into the rock fold begins in (III) and is fully realized in Caravanserai. A delicious treat when played back to back. And sexy, both these albums have something sexy about them. Wow.

10. SCREECHING WEASEL -- MY BRAIN HURTS. Sure, I heard Boogadaboogadaboogada first, but My Brain Hurts is where it made sense. The pop punk, tongue-in-cheek, this is what the Ramones begat thing is best summed up in "Cindy's on Methadone." Also, Ben's columns for Maximum Rock N' Roll at the time were equaled only by Boris the Sprinkler's Rev. Nørb in punkrockliness and humor and sex. With George Tabb [Roach Motel, Furious George] developing the chops that would keep him in print longer. A fun, rock and roll listen.

11. SLEEP -- JERUSALEM. The one album in the world that makes me want to smoke massive amounts of pot. Wow. Fifty-two minute long concept song about doom and weed and sitting on the couch with down-tuned bombs and a drummer who knows energy. Wow, again. When this came out, it was great talk about how it had gotten canned and it was an "official" bootleg or some such shit, whatever. This actually came out later as Dopesmoker and has like eleven minutes more and is the definitive track, but this one on The Music Cartel label is the one I go back to. One of the best drives to Tallahassee with my old man included this in the player while my dad regaled me with fascinating college/med school stories of the kind of shit his "friends" got into.

12. THE CRUMBS -- GET ALL TANGLED UP WITH THE CRUMBS. This 10" gem was put out by the sorely missed Far Out Records and boy what a fucking piece of work it is! Also available on CD with some bonus tracks, this piece of wax ensured the death of not one, but two cheap turntables! I'd like to see this album do the same to my Rega. Anyways. From the opening instrumental with the Farfisa organ to the closing tag from The Exorcist (a longer loop on the disc), this album was the soundtrack for a summer and what endeared me to the local scene in South Florida. Four on the floor punk that was 77 AND 57! That said, I had the pleasure of witnessing them live at Yesterday & Today Records (2nd Bird and Red locale) with the dude from the One Eyed Kings lending the Farfisa. Wow and wow!

13. SENTIMIENTO MUERTO -- EL AMOR YA NO EXISTE. If you grew up in Caracas in the 80s, you'll remember the notorious graffiti of the crossed-out heart. The first Latin American band to have a video on rotation on MTv ("Payaso") and the first to incorporate the whole Joy Division / New Order post-punk thing into the local punk and New Wave. Even before Argentina's Los Violadores or early Soda Stereo. When Carlos "Cayayo" Troconis passed in his early 30's, the South American musical community mourned. The man was a true visionary.

14. ELIS REGINA -- A ARTE DE ELIS REGINA. The A Arte De compilations are to this day the very best of Brazil's Bossa Nova elite. Usually set as double LPs, these packed in the hits and B-sides. You'll see a few more here as my dad gave me a bunch of his but this album in particular bears a specialness to me since Elis Regina was one of my first musical hard-ons. Poise, elegance, delivery, timing, highs and lows and a sugary raspy voice that could cry and laugh on a dime's break. Her version of "Aguas do março" gives me the willies in a good way. How she could ever play second fiddle to Bebel Gilberto or Maria Bethânia in contemporary views is beyond me. Seriously. Give her a try, the lady does not disappoint.

15. BLACK FLAG -- WASTED... AGAIN. Here's the moment you all knew was coming. Everybody knows that it took me 30 years to get my first tattoo and that [compliments of Joe Shed] it was the Black Flag bars. Why? Because the cliché is the same as Henry Rollins': sometimes I need to hear these tracks to face the day. Should I go on? No. From the hardcore to the sludge, gimmie Black Flag any day of the week. Shit! Obey!

16. KUKL -- THE EYE. Ahh... Björk's first band. Call it anarcho-punk, gothic rock, post-gothic-anarcho-blues... whatever. This album in particular is haunting. Ethereal and almost like a latter day Talking Heads / David Byrne world music affair. A better hint of Björk's future than The Sugarcubes. I know Sweat records had a copy like two years ago. Go get it. Don't be a dick.

17. HÜSKER DÜ -- NEW DAY RISING. Yup. A punk album with a cover of dogs playing on the beach. The A side to this album is perhaps, in my opinion, the perfect punk rock A side. "New Day Rising," "The Girl Who Lives on Heaven Hill," "I Apologize," "Folk Lore," "If I Told You," "Celebrated Summer," and "Perfect Example." Wow. "Folk Lore" is my favorite Hüsker song as is "Ice Cold Ice;" but more on that later. This is where you can make out without a shadow of a doubt that Bob Mould and Grant Hart were not playing on time with each other and that poor Greg Norton had the real tough job of making sense out of his two divas. Blistering.

18. THE BEATLES -- HELP! Ahh... The Beatles will always manage a spot in any of these things cuz The Beatles were fucking phenomenal. This album has two of my favorite three Beatles songs: "The Night Before" and "Another Girl." Sweet!

19. PINK LINCOLNS -- SUCK AND BLOAT. From the Iggy Pop cover art to the Florida punk rock goodness and all in pink! Chris Barrows is one of the snottiest and best and funniest front men in punkdom. Awesome! The one time I actually saw them live was when my friends insisted on going to the Bob Marley Fest downtown and the spirits must've heard my bitching cuz when we got there they wouldn't let us in and I decided "fuck this shit, hippies!" and we then drove to Cheers and saw the Pink Lincolns tear it up! Fucking awesome!!!

20. ATTAQUE 77 -- ANGELES CAIDOS. Argentina's answer to the Ramones. Simple. Leather-clad. 4/4. Awesome. And in Español. So freaking good!!! Nick Kreimer actually got me into them and oh boy! I got Todo Esta Al Reves shortly after but this is where it all began. Can't wait for another US tour so I can catch them again!

21. LED ZEPPELIN -- LED ZEPPELIN III. Led Zeppelin was a good band. But my favorite album is Led Zeppelin III for the inclusion of my two favorite Led Zep songs: "Gallow's Pole" and "Immigrant Song." Houses of the Holy comes close, but this is the one I revisit more often.

22. HAWKWIND -- WARRIOR ON THE EDGE OF TIME. Okay, so Lemmy is in this album and their version of “Motörhead” (available as a bonus on the CD) is fucking incredible. But the song that got me was "The Wizard Blew His Horn/Opa-Locka." Beautiful, poetic, kinda scary and spacy. They have a huge catalogue but this album is the one I recommend as the start point. For some, I recommend it as an endpoint too. Versatile.

23. GODSTOMPER -- GODSTOMPER 7". This disc was my first venture into making records. Beautiful chunky power violence and a good looking disc to boot! Julio introduced me to many, many bands and introducing me into the process of the vinyl I love so much will never be forgotten. This is a special record for me.

24. FELA KUTI -- EXPENSIVE SHIT. This album taught me the true meaning of punk rock. Two songs. Both political as fuck. And some of the most beautiful, steady-tone African jazz you'll hear. Dangerous. Fela was constantly under attack. His bio makes for a good read and I recommend you do. What a hardcore motherfucker! Though my favorite song of his is "Sorrow, Tears and Blood," "Water No Get Enemy" is a close second. Delicious.

25. BAD RELIGION -- NO CONTROL / SUFFER. BR gets two albums tied now cuz I bought them at the same time and my god was I blown away by the politics, the oohs and ahhs and the raging sound that would eventually be aped by everybody in the great state of California. Ultimately, Generator and Against the Grain would gain on them, but for the moment of time in my life, these were it. I even entertained writing the lyrics on the wall with my leather and Chucks thrown by the door. Awesome.

Okay, maybe we'll rain on this parade

2010-01-15T07:09:00.001-08:00

Here goes another empty promise.

Man-o-man-o-man! Am I a liar or what?

2009-07-29T15:22:00.000-07:00

Truth be told, I had some really good intentions for this here thing. Most of them pure, real pure, but so far I've managed to cockfuck this enterprise into an unholy death-record and I haven't even been real good at it for what it's worth. Maybe I should do a Bonghits Twitter or some such shit, or shanghai the whole operation over to the Facebook or whatever crap looms to come along and overtake that since I happen to while myself flipping through pics and reading words or assembling a fantasy list of all my favorite records (4000 to be exact)...

Hey! Maybe that's what I'll do! I'll transport the record list to here and stay competitive in the bloggosphere and show for once that I am a dog with real breeding! And of course, I'll try my darnest to throw in a personal anecdote or story retelling to finally bring this project back to full glory! Fuck yeah!

Maybe I'll start with how I got almost arrested for vagrancy the other night... yeah, that's the ticket baby, that's the ticket.

Thinly veiled lies

2009-07-07T08:27:00.000-07:00

It's been a while and like you figured, I've been eating some huge shit sandwiches and not gotten on the blog ball. Anyways, coming soon will be the first four hundred odd entries of my ambitious 4000 Greatest Albums of All Time. More bullshit, of course. Ha hah ha!!!

Check out my friends at Lucha Workshop. They make some snazzy T's!
http://luchaworkshop.blogspot.com/

2009-01-27T12:31:00.000-08:00

Check out this blogger. Sifting through the blog you'll find a great compliment to Chip's blog pertaining to Florida punk and hardcore.

http://cosmichearse.blogspot.com/

Say hooray and bow down to President Big Ears!

2009-01-20T12:17:00.000-08:00

And before you get pissy-wissy, Obama does have a pair of satellites sticking out of his head. Seriously folks?! What's the big deal? Thomas Jefferson was our first "black" president. Bill Clinton was our second "black" president. So we're going ape-shit for the third "black" president of the US of A? Get a life. But in reality, good luck Big Ears, you're gonna need it.

Maybe next year we'll pick fresh fruits together

2008-12-30T10:50:00.000-08:00

Okay. So here's the year end: lots of deaths this year. Sounds like a paperwork mess for the afterlife handlers. Whatever. I miss my cousin, I miss Alex, I miss Hugo and I miss John. Those were the four that hit close to and at home. Maybe next year won't be the clusterfuck piece of shit this past year was. Oh well, there's always booze, drugs and unprotected sex. Maybe I'll get my pocket watch fixed. Okay. I hope you have a nice new year 2009.

Good news for book/record sales

2008-09-18T16:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, off the bat: David Foster Wallace offs himself. Now we'll see more jack-offs giving Infinite Jest a try.

Second outing on the third inning: cancer ate Pink Floyd's Richard Wright.

Okay. It's a busy September and everytime I try to get away from this celeb-death shit, they pull me back in. Go fucking figure. However, I will be adding some links here to your right of interesting and culturally enhancing blogstuffs. Real info for real people kinda shit.

Shoutouts to people who are alive as far as I'm concerned this evening:

a) Ian Maguire! Click on his fruit photo blog. Very yummy.
b) Jacques Laroche! Click on his über-heady blog about important stuff for smart people.

This time it's for real, so long and thanks for all the fish!

2008-09-10T09:15:00.000-07:00

Two words: HADRON COLLIDER. It's been swell I guess.

Lending my two cents

2008-09-04T15:19:00.000-07:00

Here's some advice for Republican Vice President nominee Sarah Palin's unwed preggo teenage daughter: ABORT WITH A COAT HANGER. Good luck Republicans!

More bad news for the mill

2008-08-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

Steve Foley, who played drums with the Replacements at the tail end of the alternative rock/punk band's career, died during the weekend of August 23rd in Minneapolis. He was 49. According to local media reports, Foley died after accidentally overdosing on prescription medication.

Stop bitching, everybody else is getting fucked harder than you

2008-08-28T11:12:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the hard working punks of Güajiro for posting this up on the MySpace bulletin board and credit goes to Will Weisert (AP Services), the original author of this article. For people interested, Cuba has a pretty cool underground network of punk and metal bands that are always down to trade tapes and whatnot. There is a world beyond your front door.

***************************************************************************

CUBAN PUNK ROCKER TO STAND TRIAL

HAVANA (AP) - Cuba has ordered jailed punk rocker Gorki Aguila, an outspoken critic of Fidel Castro and the communist government, to stand trial on Friday for "social dangerousness," a charge that could carry up to four years in prison.

Authorities arrested the 39-year-old lead singer of Porno para Ricardo at his Havana home on Monday, shortly after the band had completed work on a new album. Cuban law defines "social dangerousness" as behavior contrary to "communist morality," and police use it to detain offenders before they have a chance to commit a crime.

Performing songs with angry lyrics that poke fun at or openly insult Fidel Castro and his brother Raul, who became Cuba's president in February, Porno para Ricardo is banned from official Cuban airwaves.

The government often applies the "social dangerousness" charge in cases of public drunkenness or as a way to keep large groups of unemployed Cubans - or those simply skipping work - from congregating on city streets during business hours. It is also applied to cases of drug addiction and "anti-social behavior."

But Aguila works for Cuba's film institute and was doing nothing out of the ordinary when police came and took him away, his father Luis said Wednesday.

The arrest has touched off an avalanche of criticism on blogs in Cuba and the United States. Musicians on and off the island also sent e-mails decrying the case. Aguila remains in police custody but has been well-treated and is in good spirits, his father said.

Elizardo Sanchez, head of the independent Cuban Commission for Human Rights and National Reconciliation, released a statement Wednesday saying legal protocols should mean the trial will be held in public. He said Aguila has asked "diplomatic observers" to attend, apparently hoping they will be allowed to get a glimpse of a legal system seldom seen by foreigners in this closed society.

Sanchez's statement said that after investigating, the commission determined that "Gorki Aguila has not committed any specific crime as defined by the current criminal code."

The Cuban government has not commented.

Ciro Diaz, guitarist for the band whose name means "Porno For Ricardo" in English, said "these kinds of trials are very biased. It's difficult for someone to be absolved."

"A lawyer can do very little because there's no evidence of criminal activity presented, only what the police say," said Diaz, who plans to attend the trial.

Diaz said there were rumors months ago that the police would break up a concert and that Aguila's neighbors complained of excess noise during rehearsals.

"We've finished our new album. We don't know if this is because of that or if it could be something that's been cooking for months," Diaz said.

He said the band is working to upload its latest album to the Internet.

Aguila was arrested and sentenced to prison in 2005 on drug charges, which he denied, saying Cuban authorities entrapped him. His band accused the government at the time of trying to keep Porno para Ricardo from appearing in Habana Blues, a 2005 documentary about a flourishing underground music movement on the island.

Click me for the band's website!

Good news across the board for parties of interesting interest interested

2008-08-27T11:28:00.000-07:00

Some pals of mine have made blog things and here I is to share with you. High on the recommendation scales since these are "real" works and not cyberturds like a certain train I seem to ride in frequently. Oh Hell.

Spicaresque is poet Yago S. Cura's blog for the shit that falls out of his brain. Muy bueno and bilingual. Artsy stuff to make you smarter and help you bang away persons of substance from here on out. Just finished reading his chapzine "Rubberroom" and lordy was that a good read. Five bucks. Cheap.

Métele el click:

Spicaresque

Adventures and Wanderings of a Peace Corps Volunteer in South Africa is my friend J. Van Kampen's blog. Yup, he really bills himself that cuz he must be trying to bring K-Fed to the South Africans. Regardless of which, he's a sweet kid and wants to make a difference in the world. I suggested he got his white cap with the French Foreign Legion, but nobody ever fucking listens to me. Hooray!

Apartheid your fingers on this:

South Africa!

Okay. Awesome. Links coming to the right of the page real soon. Real soon. sooner than soon. In a bit. You know what I mean

Sorrow, tears and blood: dem regular trademark

2008-08-14T15:44:00.000-07:00

I'm not even gonna try and repair Darwish's pictoid below cuz the last three I've put up have gone the same route. In anycase, Palestinian's and many Arabs are saddened by the loss of this poet. Oh well, when I'm feeling a little more on point, I'll post a couple of his contemporaries that you might dig.

On a related note, there's a new link on the right-hand side for a really good blog on the South Florida underground music scene. There are a lot of bands missing, but there is also a lot of bands on there with photos, album covers and text to get your collecting buds wets. I recommend it as it is (unlike this cyberturd before you) updated regularly. Good, solid info -- trustworthy. Real info for real people.

DJ Craze at The Vagabond tonight if you're into that.

I keep trying, but they keep dying...

2008-08-11T12:27:00.000-07:00

That's Mahmoud Darwish. Palestinian poet. He died in Houston.

That's Bernie Mac. He was an African-American comedian.

And this is what happens to a really cool dude under the machinations of Scientology. In any case, this is all very, very sad.

Duh, threesome!

2008-08-05T07:17:00.000-07:00

Wow, this here thing has widely deteriorated into a celebrity croak page. I am so fucking embarrassed. I've lost my balls here. I sincerely apologize for the wickedly amazing up-to-the-minute information loss that has now run completely rampant. Jesse's back from Hungary so I guess Monday Movie Night Fun shenanigans can resume. And we all know that with a little alcohol, I get a little more on point. Yay!!!

It's finally over; the agony, the pain, the way...

2008-08-05T07:03:00.000-07:00

Alexander Solzhenitsyn bites the dust. Morgan Freeman in a car wreck. Coincidence? Or unholy alliance?

The big Raid squirt keeps 'em croaking

2008-07-22T12:11:00.000-07:00

There is no God. We have no chance now.

The week in pictures and four words of which one is a contraction

2008-07-17T13:52:00.001-07:00

I'm digging Twombly now.

Even more foolish ways to get deeper and deeper in the hole

2008-07-17T13:45:00.000-07:00

So I keep getting the knockaround, covered most of Miami proper and the incorporated and unincorporated parts of the county. I am filled with joy. I look forward to the coming art season. I think you're the bees knees. I think I'm gonna have a very large beer after work today. Something foreign and cold.

On the plus side though, there is a ladies gym next door.

The afterlife is getting better every day!

2008-06-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

But for now life on Earth sucks cuz Bo's gone. Long live Bo Diddley!!! A true Lion of Zion.

The Sri Lankan hard-on

2008-05-02T10:24:00.000-07:00

This is nice. Look out for Adrock and Mike D towards the back nine.

Cuz we broke the 200 hump

2008-04-27T14:50:00.000-07:00

In celebration of all the good and positive work that I've done on these semi-confessional ditties I'll take a swing on the old cop-out bat and feature another piece by my brother Chazzie the Genius; mostly cuz he's made a somewhat successful PR stab at pointing out that my other brother's masthead piece has been featured twice. I'm not going to fucking argue with that. The kid is currently tormenting me with a whistled version of Scandal's "The Warrior." I suffer for your sins.

Click on the image to "enlarge."

My other brother, the other genius

2008-04-26T14:08:00.000-07:00

Here's one from my other bro that I've featured before, but I think it'll be nice to showcase how much more completely artistic the little snots are than their older sibling.

My brother the genius

2008-04-20T18:28:00.000-07:00

My brother Chaz has a weird idea of how the world works but he does draw these amazing comics that are dead on point. He's had a few published that you oughtta get your hands on. He did this one a while ago and I'd been dying to put it up. He also talks a lot of shit but he ain't heavy, he's my brother.

Click on it to "enlarge."

You can't have enough Bazel Boyz

2008-04-13T12:31:00.000-07:00

Here's some behind the scenes work from the Carol Jazzar show this past January. Shot and edited by Bazel Boy Aiden Dillard.

The Toshiba makes my lap hot

2008-04-06T23:25:00.000-07:00

The Jamaican food was deee-lish! And I am sorry that I didn't tell you I was getting the oxtail.

No hidden messages

2008-04-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

I am in your bed now smelling you out of the pillow. Delicious. On your laptop. Gonna walk your dogs now. Gonna walk the dogs and smell your pillow some more.

Zion Lion of the Barbary Coast

2008-04-03T07:47:00.000-07:00

Michael George Campbell known to you as Mickey Dread passed away on March 15th. Sad, sad news. Sandinista!

June 4th, 1954 - March 15th, 2008

Fair fields of France find funny frumpies to fathom over

2008-04-01T15:32:00.000-07:00

Alas! Winter Music Conference (WMC) is over and I no longer have to suffer the dregs of "untz untz untz" music and Eurowannabes who expect coat checks in a Miami winter. WMC did bring in a lot of gams to look at but at what cost on my immortal soul I ask. Oh well. We can retread tires and brave the seas, wait in vain for something better to happen. Drown in a pond of debt, cast my cares in a whiskey net. To brilliant eternity, may she forever flower with guilt!

Frankfurters, fluffy pillows, fear and loathing in my knees

2008-03-29T13:01:00.000-07:00

Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!

This guy is fun.

To live and die in Hialeah

2008-03-29T10:40:00.000-07:00

I've lived the dreams of the broken hearted and I have said things with more emotion and feeling than I have in a very long time... were I to die tomorrow, there would be a throng of people who'd have nice things to say. I almost bought a rotten pumpkin on the way to the dealership. I am extremely thankful I didn't. What? You gonna have reservations? Well bitch, it ain't that kind of motel...

To young girls who look good and walk with a certain sway

2008-03-26T15:20:00.001-07:00

7yvbbvrbvbrivninaf98hvb9bvundpb9undabnp9tbnpdnbuinb9unu9bnu9nb9a8n9jhbu9nbih5uu34nui5nu9n45biu5gb75hgv7ymg5ymt7mhgjlziugholuihgpiushgtrsh;ostijhb9sjtoirtjb98j5;98jh8h8q45h89jo8hg98ua934h83bjrb,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.YOUHOLDMYATTENTIONDEAR.rbvuebovuybobviyutbvuyvbotvbtiubvivbiubntihubnotbnoobnbnuoiutnbiugjnbigfnbgfnbinjijsnijbnsiubnpisuhuibhgibhnsuth994jktnijnjgnbigbngifbnipsnisnjnjignbifsniubhiushb98euhbs89htb87s4y5gh98huifdhibuvh8fgunbhp987sypkughuygtqzwsxdefcvgbhnjmk,l3wsqexrdcfvytgbhunjmikoewsxrdcftvygbhunjiertjy56r6btrtytkyuyuggfvhfdhhhhhhhhhhhhhvdhbviuyvg8r7uv8e089trjbv94u5h9hgyuhnuirhvbjidnbliujtbhu9isahgluhiughsrtlghughiuhguithgiuthigurt9gu498hguthgliutgh98usuiotghosuh9p8s65hpoiujhoitus98trhjoitjsho899tsh8sujp09th8jusrb89hup09tjgp0sihu0suhri90ju90thjiojtoisjthiorjojthiojihjjrhijrihjcbuydebvucyarveygvuyegrvuybehggvuyhetuvhutengijetnbjhintbjintijbnijnbijsrtnbijnbtirnsjbniubhiuhbuyhyuhhbviaunbiutnbiuntbnrioubjnpoiunjpoiupoiunsbpoignbpiougfpinoiugnpoigfpiomspoinoifgoijfsinosfoinpoi.YOUHOLDITVERYWELL.bvhaebhntbihjntnbisrtnbiusrnbtinrbivhubareuyvbruvhyuenrhg87q3hgfio57mhgufdkudhbmiuhmlibgudmthlgbknjktbnsjdnbiuhntlbhnjlksabnkjfnbjsntgjbnslktbnlkgnblkmngpksoigojknbksfgmn;lksgo;inbj;oisgnjo;itsoijnosi4j5oijoijijoijoikjmfdslkbjdifjoifjdzuhyvftdresderd43sercsfqvsyftvcqytsvyt3vhgevyt4gbgbgbg4bgbvgbjh4bjhbhjbnciheciousehvi7rvy8o7ethubtkbluitbjtrbjuoitbjikjbokjtoibjoitjoijkgbjokgkbnlkjbntgiubhjigubnkjgbnkjsnkgjbnkjgnbjkgnbkjnskjnibujh98tjngnbkgnbkjgnbkjngknblknlkjnsjknkjsnkjbnkjsgbnksjgbnkjnbkjngjkbnskubiuthujoijblkjnglkjnbkglbnlkgjnbkjgnbkjngkjbnkgjnbkjfgnbkjngkjbnkjnksuhiuh98e5yu94okpo65,tnbokgnopkkpowkpjpoijp0ithgoiubhnuishguyhgqiubhejhbnfjhenfbiujehfiuwhi.NOWIWANTTOHOLDYOU.jirnivbenibuhniunbiusrtnbiunribjnuirnujbniurbtnuwniuntbiurbiuprnu9bruibnliusrtj7w984bw3sxwxersdctdfvytgbyughnuinmjmjokoredscxredcrtfdtvfvygbnuyhnijmjmoi,moigbm,osibm,opitbit,vitvbosm,tbgitgmbhjtojhoisjgoiuehjngbvijfeibauehgoirugjliaourohgaiytu8nfkjawreniuhrgehqjighniojfunbopgjnbpjokthnpiuq0bhjgnhtlipjfbhp9i8tjhnbjtnbit8sbjoiutbnl;istujbh9sgdubnksgjbnkgfnbojgbhpuigfbnlkjsnbkjsfgbjnsglijnbiosg;nblibgshbkthbstr,hbjtgnbiushtgblinlbjnkjngblsnlkjgnblksnksnknknknjnkgbnugoijbitrkhliu5hjigfnbmdnbjklngl;kjspoijhnbjlknsblksbnjlsknbjosijnlgksnlsknlkslknmglfnksgflnkmglmnklsglkgiosoritonjmsi

Accented acids change my liver

2008-03-26T15:09:00.000-07:00

I like this Swedish joke. Catchy! Wholesome! Fun! I make no lies, I tell no lies, me speak the English very good.

Some choice to medley with. This whole video on the blog thing is going to change my insipid, tepid life. Woe to the dead city, for she is full of shame. And in this case, Palookas.

Toda la puta vida igual

2008-03-26T14:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, who's got some La Polla Records albums they're willing to part with. E-mail me through the profile doohickey. On related news, I hate micromanagers. I hate malfeasance and dust. I get both in daily doses. I'm going to pick a word now. I pick the word forbid. I will now type that word until I get tired. My life is a steaming pile of shit. Here we go!

forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid
forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid
forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid
forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid
forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid
forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid
forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid
forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid
forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid
forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid
forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid
forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid forbid

My favorite part of this futile exercise is the fact that I even have to look busy while being on my lunch break. Here, put a big shit eating grin in here: [_______].

I saw a rainbow once, here... in 1993

2008-03-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

This is Ms. July's new book. Yummy and yellow. There's a link here for a very clever website with info concerning the book. It is thoroughly clever. Like my use of italics. It is mucho hot.
Yellow Goodness

Wiccan Wiktionary yahooist disambiguation

2008-03-25T16:57:00.000-07:00

Palookaville
From Wiktionary

English

Etymology
From palooka a stupid or oafish person

Proper noun
Palookaville

(US) an imaginary town, tha natural home of the mediocre and incompetent.

I.E. -- everything you see here.

Regreso al sexo químicamente puro

2008-03-25T15:53:00.000-07:00

My life is not ruled by fast food. It is ruled by micromanaging types. The depression has crept in. Tahoma rears its ugly head. Getting the feeling that if I don't self-medicate the intake valve soon, I might implode, explode, reload and demote. I hate this year. I hate this century. I hate the way your curling iron left a mark on the bathroom counter. I hate the soft curl of hair embedded in the aloe. I hate fast food. Seethe, fuck, seethe, fuck. No love lost.

For the Central Florida arts lover in you

2008-03-16T11:56:00.000-07:00

My friend Blake Suárez is having an exhibit at the University of Florida's J. Wayne Reitz Union "The Gallery" this coming March 17th through the 28th. It is whimsically titled Hairs and Other Animals and should be a nice affair with a reception going down on the 20th from 7 to 9 pm. Support this young South Floridian currently living in Gainesville. He's got red hair and it is real. Don't believe me, click below!

Hairs and Other Animals

On a different kind of train

2008-03-16T11:13:00.001-07:00

Now that I think about it, the last post failed to mention some real info. So here it is:

Alligator Alley
[Couldn't find an "official" web address, but apparently MySpace rules the universe]
You'll like this place!
Click like a clicking platypus!

Jaco Pastorius
[Simply put, one of Florida's greatest men]
Better than Jesus on rollerskates!
Click on that and check back for developments for the online storefront!

Teen angst, balding men, cowboy boots vs. Chuck Taylors

2008-03-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

Boy did I get a treat last night! After some barbecue fun with a lady friend and her childhood pals I took it northbound to Alligator Alley (the venue, not the road) to catch a fantastic romp of a set by the phenomenal Drug Czars, a mini-set by the always incredible The Eat and a South Florida rock and roll reunion of sorts hosted and instigated by the godly Charlie "Chaz" Pickett.

The joint's kinda tight but it is also kinda really good for the intimacy thing you folks are always looking for. Good place to catch some real music live. Heads up, next Saturday, March 22nd they'll have one of Jaco Pastorius' sons performing. Should be some hot shit. But even more awesome than any of the aforementioned, was the really cool bartender Susie, who made appropriate suggestions and was quick with a smile. Classy lady. She made the night good.

Oh baby... I hope you're sober no more

2008-03-15T12:38:00.000-07:00

This is sooooooooo good! And from Hialeah! Can you believe it?! One of South Florida's hidden gems! Click on the Dusty Groove link on the right and buy that funky shit! They got some Blowfly/Clarence Reid stuff too if that tickles your treated cuke.
"Heepers jeepers, dazed and confused in the fog / when you wake up, you'll have the dick of a frog!"

2008-03-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

Hey, check this out. It's by Associated Press writer Nedra Pickler and it is pretty interesting. Ah! Live free as long as you say things that don't rock boats or embarrass your cool politico friends. Are the Rev's comments wrong? It's not for me to say but you should take a look and form your own opinion. Real info's a tough bitch.

********************************************************************************

WASHINGTON -- Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama on Friday denounced inflammatory remarks from his pastor, who has railed against the United States and accused the country of bringing on the Sept. 11 attacks by spreading terrorism.

Obama called the statements appearing on television and the Internet "completely unacceptable and inexcusable" in a Fox News interview and said they didn't reflect the kinds of sermons he had heard from the Rev. Jeremiah Wright while attending services at Chicago's Trinity United Church of Christ.

Obama, a member of the church since the early 1990s, said he would have quit Trinity had such statements been "the repeated tenor of the church. ... I wouldn't feel comfortable there."

Earlier Friday, Obama responded by posting a blog about his relationship with Wright and Trinity on the Huffington Post. Wright brought Obama to Christianity, officiated at his wedding, baptized his daughters and inspired the title of his book, "The Audacity of Hope."

Obama wrote that he's looked to Wright for spiritual advice, not political guidance, and he's been pained and angered to learn of some of his pastor's comments for which he had not been present. Obama told MSNBC that Wright had stepped down from his campaign's African American Religious Leadership Committee.

"I categorically denounce any statement that disparages our great country or serves to divide us from our allies," Obama said in his blog posting. "I also believe that words that degrade individuals have no place in our public dialogue, whether it's on the campaign stump or in the pulpit. In sum, I reject outright the statements by Reverend Wright that are at issue."

In a sermon on the Sunday after the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001, Wright suggested the United States brought on the attacks.

"We bombed Hiroshima, we bombed Nagasaki, and we nuked far more than the thousands in New York and the Pentagon, and we never batted an eye," Wright said. "We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because the stuff we have done overseas is now brought right back to our own front yards. America's chickens are coming home to roost."

In a 2003 sermon, he said blacks should condemn the United States.

"The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing 'God Bless America.' No, no, no, God damn America, that's in the Bible for killing innocent people. God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America for as long as she acts like she is God and she is supreme."

He also gave a sermon in December comparing Obama to Jesus, promoting his candidacy and criticizing his rival, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

"Barack knows what it means to be a black man to be living in a country and a culture that is controlled by rich white people," Wright told a cheering congregation. "Hillary can never know that. Hillary ain't never been called a nigger."

Obama told MSNBC that he would not repudiate Wright as a man, describing him as "like an uncle" who says something that he disagrees with and must speak out against. He also said he expects his political opponents will use video of the sermons to attack him as the campaign goes on.

Questions about Obama's religious beliefs have dogged him throughout his candidacy. He's had to fight against false Internet rumors suggesting he's really a Muslim intent on destroying the United States, and now his pastor's words uttered nearly seven years ago have become an issue.

Obama wrote on the Huffington Post that he never heard Wright say any of the statements, but he acknowledged that they have raised legitimate questions about the nature of his relationship with the pastor and the church. He wrote that he joined Wright's church nearly 20 years ago, familiar with the pastor's background as a former Marine and respected biblical scholar who lectured at seminaries across the country.

"Reverend Wright preached the gospel of Jesus, a gospel on which I base my life," he wrote. "And the sermons I heard him preach always related to our obligation to love God and one another, to work on behalf of the poor and to seek justice at every turn."

He said Wright's controversial statements first came to his attention at the beginning of his presidential campaign last year, and he condemned them. Because of his long and deep ties to the 6,000-member congregation church, Obama said he decided not to leave.

"With Reverend Wright's retirement and the ascension of my new pastor, Rev. Otis Moss III, Michelle and I look forward to continuing a relationship with a church that has done so much good," he wrote.

Also Friday, the United Church of Christ issued a 1,400-word statement defending Wright and his "flagship" congregation. The statement lauded Wright's church for its community service and work to nurture youth and the pastor for speaking out against homophobia and sexism in the black community.

"It's time for all of us to say no to these attacks and to declare that we will not allow anyone to undermine or destroy the ministries of any of our congregations in order to serve their own narrow political or ideological ends," John H. Thomas, United Church of Christ's president, said in the statement.

Hubris, Herman's Hermits and the hullabaloo

2008-03-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

Oh wait. It's Saturday morning and I'm at work. Is this why I'm bored? Yup. I think so. I'm so bored I'm gonna cheat on original thought, crib a MySpace survey that Danny Wallz filled out sometime last night under the influence of alcoholic bitterness and hope the day goes by real slow. I'll steal a pictoid from the internet and post it here like it matters. I really like that album.

We have found things now that solve stuff politely

2008-03-15T06:34:00.000-07:00

The Vagabond opens this coming week. It's gonna be a classy affair. I can tell. I know these things. Next to PS14 and a hocker's loog from the Performing Arts Center in semi-Downtown Miami.

Tributes, tithing, teething and torrential territory takeovers

2008-03-13T12:37:00.000-07:00

When everything goes wrong, when all the crap gets shoveled on me, when I'm about to break into the point of weakness and call it all off -- when I think of bad things, I think of you.

Worth more than two squids in a bucket

2008-03-13T10:09:00.000-07:00

Seriously now, how many Black Flag fans are out there? Cuz I'm currently jamming to "Screw the Law" off the Process of Weeding out album and it is hot hot hot. Ginn's screwball jazz punk is satisfying and mind you, I'm normally of the "Depression" / "White Minority" variety. And on the "Depression" tip, since all BF singers took a crack, who do you think did the best job? I'm on the Dez Cadena wagon for that... homeboy could hit the highs.
So what the fuck is gonna happen now between the nimrod Colombian prez and the even bigger douchebag prez of Venezuela? Is this truly over, or is Uribe gonna man-up and do something with the evidence linking Bozo the Monkey with the FARC?
Born and raised in the VZ, I am ashamed when this clown puts my country under the shitty lamp with his shenanigans.
And he is keeping good Scotch out of the country. That's punishable by death.

Hello delicious beyond smooth

2008-03-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

Gabonauta is pissed that you told him things would turn out all right, when in fact they didn't.

Ellos dicen mierda y nosotros decimos amén

2008-03-11T16:40:00.000-07:00

I can tell you that drinking some Jamey-baby and Castlers is probably not a good idea, given the animosity between the British Isles and the Irish -- but an even better idea is trying to punch through a screen door. Yup. The screen looks tough but your hand will glide right through it... leaving precious chunks of skin behind. My knuckles hurt. I feel, yet again, as stupid as I look. I think White Russians are in my immediate future tonight.

The creeping capybara with a capital T

2008-03-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

I am not allowed to say anything. See for yourself. She's got a collection of short stories out right now. It's a yellow book. That's all I can say. For now.

El niño que come nabo, ñato se queda

2008-03-11T09:51:00.000-07:00

Last night was another über-successful Monday Movie Night engagement. Turning Mel Brook's Spaceballs into a Rocky Horror/Jameson-infused party came easy to last night's lot. Best deal in Kendall proper, that's for damn sure.

There is no better business in the world and I can tell you that

2008-03-10T13:54:00.000-07:00

On related news, the Down Home Southernaires' new album, Negro en Bicicleta is a full-on sexiyummilicious slab that will appeal to numerous folks. It's a party album. A dance party album. It's good to play during sex too. It lowers blood pressure and reduces BMIs by ten percent. Wow! Buy it, download it, catch 'em live. Sharp dressers those motherfuckers, sharp!

Interviewed Lose the Rookie last night at Maison Paul during a rehearsal. Show's gonna sound good boy! Good lineup too. Fun punk rock South Florida style! Swamp punk! Good punk!

This Satanic Majesty requests

2008-03-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

Does anybody have a copy of Joe Keithley's I, Shithead: A Life in Punk that they could lend me? I take care of books.

Noticias en Español

2008-03-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

This is from Venezuela's El Universal and it's about one of the real talents that we have produced for the beautiful game. Real info. And I am that bored.

********************************************************************************

Palma (España) -- El Mallorca destrozó al Recreativo de Huelva (7-1) en la goleada más abultada de su historia en Primera, y en la cual el venezolano Juan Arango con tres goles, el internacional español Daniel Güiza, con dos, y el argentino Ariel "Caño" Ibagaza, fueron determinantes.

El equipo balear rompió la racha de siete empates seguidos y sumó tres puntos que le alejan de la zona peligrosa ante un 'Recre' irreconocible, flojísimo en defensa y absolutamente entregado desde el minuto uno, reseñó Efe.

Güiza fue el verdugo de los onubenses, ya que participó en cinco de los siete goles de su equipo. Asistió a Arango en dos ocasiones y a Borja Valero y él mismo marcó dos en el espectacular 7-1 que señalaba el marcador en el minuto 50 del partido.

El Recreativo de Huelva se presentó en el Ono Estadi, prácticamente, sin defensas. El Mallorca llegó en siete ocasiones hasta la meta de Sorrentino, y marcó cinco goles en la primera parte, prueba evidente de las enormes facilidades de un equipo que claudicó a la primera de cambios.

En la primera media hora del partido, el Mallorca ya ganaba 3-0. El cuarto gol fue una obra maestra del 'Caño' Ibagaza, que regateó hasta su sombra para dar el gol en bandeja a su compañero Borja Valero.

Con una retaguardia de mantequilla, un centro del campo inexistente, el conjunto andaluz mostró unas limitaciones propias de un equipo que se dirige al pozo de forma irremisible.

El Mallorca explotó las debilidades de su rival con la mágica aparición de Ibagaza y Güiza, bien secundados por Arango, que marcó por segunda vez en la Liga tres goles, (la primera fue ante la Real Sociedad en la temporada 2005-2006) y el ex jugador del filial del Madrid, Borja Valero, que marcó sus dos primeros goles en Primera.

El equipo de Gregorio Manzano disfrutó de un partido tan plácido, que hasta llegó a recrearse en algunas ocasiones.

El conjunto balear acumulaba siete empates seguidos en el Ono Estadi y sólo había ganado uno, al Atlético de Madrid (1-0) el pasado 27 de enero. Un marcador tan amplio y definitivo no lo saboreaba desde hace años.

La fiesta 'rojilla' fue total, con Güiza, Ibagaza y Arango en plan estelar. El 7-1 (minuto 50) ya superaba al 6-1 de la temporada 98-99 en el Luis Sitjar ante el Athlétic de Bilbao.

El público hizo la ola y disfrutó de una goleada con un marcador de tiempo remotos. El equipo, por fin, se reconciliaba con su afición a costa de un Recreativo que hincó la rodilla desde el minuto uno. Y ya no la levantó.

It's too bad, too bad for you and you and you

2008-03-07T11:56:00.000-08:00

After many years of searching, digging and (once) begging I have finally acquired Coke's LP. It is a little beat and plenty of dirty, but with my trusty D4 and a little English I'll have it shiny and rocking in no time. As much as I'd like to sit here and wax poetics on how it came into my hands, I actually kinda sorta hafta get back to work. If you could believe that. Well. You know what that means.

The waxing stack of wax vs. pandering pandemonium

2008-03-07T09:25:00.000-08:00

Check out the link for the *33 1/3* blog. Interesting stuff there. Click away. They have pictures. You like pictures. I know. I know.

Solanum, eggplants and aubergines

2008-03-07T09:19:00.000-08:00

Here's the deal, can someone please hook me up with a solid recipe for kashk-e bademjan? This delicious Iranian treat comes at a slight premium price and I'd rather recreate it at the homestead instead. Hook a brother up! I will let you try it!

One million stargazers can't be wrong

2008-03-07T06:51:00.000-08:00

I had a nice bottle of the Maison Nicolas pinot noir last night. It was a fat bastard with nutty and fruity hints, deep scent and a pleasant (albeit dryish) aftertaste. It is also on sale at the Milam's Market for $8.99. I know you frugal jacks are into that.

I call it most blessed ale

2008-03-06T13:59:00.000-08:00

Here's a list of artists whose catalogues I've been enjoying. I recommend you check them out as well. Who knows? Impress a broad, a dude, a frog... it's your world baby.

01. Saul Williams
02. Bad Brains
03. The Melvins
04. Junior Kimbrough
05. Split Enz
06. Stiff Little Fingers
07. The Weirdos
08. Scream
09. Wrangler Brutes
10. The Eat
11. La Polla Records
12. Roach Motel
13. The Saints
14. Attaque 77
15. Charlie Pickett and The Eggs

List of demands and pictures of you

2008-03-06T13:51:00.000-08:00

I apologize for the layout change. Hopefully it will be easier to navigate the backlog of super important blogs that I've put up. I think I turned too slow while clicking on Blogger's suggestions. Oh well. Oh brother. Sweet guffaw!

On a hilltop with fifteen girls and no cares to think of

2008-03-05T13:35:00.001-08:00

I like to fill out surveys when I'm drunk because the barriers come down and I'm honest and pure and squishy good. This particular survey was not lifted from MySpace but rather, was sent to me via e-mail by my dear friend Annie R. with instructions that I fill this out to let my friends get to know me better. Well. You're my friend and I want you to get to know me better. I like Jameson Irish whiskey. Know that before we begin.

********************************************************************************

01. What is your occupation?
I'M IN THE LIBRARY BIZ. I'M ALSO IN THE FREELANCE MUSIC JOURNALISM BIZ. I'M IN THE VIDEO/MEDIA ART BIZ. I'M IN THE NIGHTLIFE BIZ TOO.

02. What color are your socks right now?
MY SOCKS ARE A FADED SHADE OF BLACK WITH A GRAY AND BLACK ARGYLE PATTERN RUNNING THE LENGTH OF MY FIBULA.

03. What are you listening to right now?
I HAVE THE PANDORA.COM THINGAMABOB RUNNING FULL THROTTLE WITH A SELECTION OF EARLY 80'S AMERICAN HARDCORE. CUZ WHEN YOU'RE DOING PAPERWORK, ONLY THE BAD BRAINS MAKE SENSE.

04. What was the last thing that you ate?
I JUST HAD A BANANA AND IT WAS DELICIOUS.

05. Can you drive a stick shift?
YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. I DRIVE ALL KINDS OF THINGS. SOME BETTER THAN OTHERS BUT I CAN. HOWEVER, SOME PEOPLE PREFER CARS THAT SHIFT THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY LIKE LUXURIOUS COMFORT. YOU EVER HEARD OF CADILLAC?

06. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
SALMON PINK. THAT SHIT'S EDIBLE!

07. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
HARRY, CONCERNING A PACKAGE THAT WAS DOUBLE-DELIVERED.

08. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
I LOVE ANNIE R. LIKE A SISTER. I LOVE HER VERY MUCH.

09. How old are you today?
TODAY I AM HALFWAY THROUGH THE SUCK THAT IS THIRTY. TOMORROW I'LL BE TWENTY-FIVE AGAIN.

10. Favorite drink?
ALL OF THEM.

11. What is your favorite sport to watch?
FÚTBOL. GOLF. TENNIS. CLAM DIGGING. FUCKING. SPELUNKING. HISTORICAL LESSONS. ANTIC DISPOSITIONS. POETRY. FUNERALS. MIXED-MARTIAL ARTS. FUCKING.

12. Ever dyed your hair?
WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND SLIGHTLY MORE "PUNK" ROCK.

13. Pets?
USED TO HAVE SOME GOOD ONES. HANSEL WAS AN ADORABLE AND LOYAL SCHNAUZER. SPARKY WAS A SPUNKY DOBERMAN PINSCHER. OTTO WAS A FUCKING PHENOMENAL ROTTWEILER. MY OLD LOVEBIRDS GIN & TONIC WERE CUTE. MY GOLDFISH (OTTO II, ROMMEL, ALFRED, BISMARCK, AND MENGELE) DEFIED MANY LAWS OF NATURE AND YES, AT THE TIME I THOUGHT THAT NAMING THEM WITH NAZI OVER/UNDERTONES WOULD BE FUNNY. C'MON! THEY WERE GOLDFISH! PLUS ALFRED WAS PURE GOLD WITH A BLACK MARK ON HIS "LIP" -- HOW COULD I RESIST?!

14. Favorite food? Dessert?
ALL EXCEPT THE BIG THREE: COTTAGE CHEESE, PRUNES AND LIVER (STEAK). DON'T TRY TO MAKE ME ENJOY THESE. I HAVE TRIED THEM ALL COUNTLESS TIMES AND EVERY TIME SUCKED.

15. Last movie you watched?
THE DARJEELING LIMITED WHICH WAS VERY NICE.

16. Favorite Day of the year?
TOMORROW. YESTERDAY. TWO WEEKS FROM APRIL. WHATEVER.

17. What do you do to vent anger?
SIT AND PATIENTLY WAIT FOR IT TO PASS THROUGH AND ABOVE ME.

18. What was your favorite toy as a child?
THOSE MAZINGER Z TOYS WERE THE BOMB. OTHER THAN THAT, I CAN'T REALLY RECALL.

19. What is your favorite season fall or spring?
FALL IS FOLLOWED BY WINTER AND WINTER IS RUINED BY SPRING WHICH IN TURN IS FURTHER RUINED BY SUMMER. THEREFORE I LIKE WINTER.

20. Hugs or kisses?
BOTH. SLOPPY HUGS AND TIGHT KISSES.

21. Cherry or Blueberry?
ALL BERRIES ARE GOOD. WORKING ON SOME NICE RASPBERRY MAYONNAISE RIGHT NOW FOR A CERTAIN KIND OF SANDWICH I WANNA MAKE. YUM!

22. Do you want your friends to email you back?
SURE. FIND MY E-MAIL UNDER MY PROFILE AND E-MAIL AWAY. DO AS YOU PLEASE. THIS BLOG IS FOR YOU. SERIOUSLY. WHY ELSE?!

23. Who is most likely to respond?
PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

24. Who is least likely to respond?
THE DEARLY DEPARTED. THE BEREAVED. THE LONELY.

25. Living arrangements?
THEY COME TO A CLOSE SOON. BUT RISE SOON IN A MUCH BETTER PAD WITH THE SAME CAST. JESSE IS A GREAT FRIEND AND A FORMIDABLE ROOMMATE.

26. Last time you cried?
WAS A LONGTIME AGO AND WHEN I THINK OF UGLY THINGS, I THINK OF THOSE DAYS. YEEUCH.

27. What is on the floor of your closet?
SHOES. BOXES. AN IRON.

28. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to?
THE WORLD IS MY OLDEST FRIEND.

29. The friend you have had the shortest that you are sending this to?
I GUESS THAT WOULD BE YOU. SINCE I'M SENDING THIS TO CLOG THE DIGITALSCAPES OF THE INTERNET. INTERNET PLUMBERS DO IT IN THE OPTIC FIBERS.

30. Favorite smell?
A WOMAN.

31. What inspires you? to do what?
INSOMNIA. TO DO MANY GREAT THINGS. LIKE THIS BLOG, WHICH IS CLEARLY THE HALLMARK OF MY ENTIRE CAREER IN THE WORLD. EVERYTHING HAS LED TO THIS MOMENT. THIS IS MY CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT. THIS MAKES ME.

32. What are you afraid of?
ROACHES. LIKE ANY SANE PERSON.

33. Plain, cheese or spicy? on what?
CHEESILY PLAIN WITH AMPLE SPICE ON ANYTHING. C'MON!

34. Favorite car?
MY ÜBER-CUTE NISSAN VERSA ROCKS THE HOUSE.

36. Number of keys on your key ring?
ENOUGH FOR WHAT I NEED.

37. How many years at your current job?
AT LIBRARY: SEVEN. FREELANCING: NINE. PUTZING AND ASSORTED SHENANIGANS (OF THE JESSE AND NON-JESSE-ASSISTED VARIETY): FIFTEEN.

38. Favorite day of the week?
NO PREFERENCE. THERE ARE DRINK SPECIALS EVERY NIGHT YEAR ROUND IN THE MAGIC CITY. THAT'S ALL YOU NEED. BY THE BY, THE DATRAN CENTER PUBLIX LIQUOR STORE HAS A GOOD DEAL ON THE JAMESON. SCOOP UP ONE OR TWO.

39. How many states have you lived in?
IN THE UNITED STATES, ONE. ELSEWHERE, TWO.

40. How many countries have you been to?
TWENTY-FOUR AND THERE ARE SO MANY MORE I WANT TO VISIT!

41. What was your favorite country?
ALL OF THEM WERE GREAT. ALTHOUGH BELGIUM GETS CREDIT FOR HAVING THE HOTTEST PUNK ROCK GIRLS OF AFRICAN DESCENT. YEEOW!

42. If you could go back in time and change anything you have ever done or
said what would it be?
CHANGING MY PAST NULLIFIES THE PRESENT. I LIKE MY PRESENT VERY MUCH REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH I BITCH AND ELECTRONICALLY SCREAM. EVERYTHING THAT HAS COME HAS PASSED AND WHAT HAS NOT COME BEARS NO BEARING ON MY NOW.

WELL, I'M PLEASANTLY BORED NOW. I HOPE YOU ARE TOO. DIGI CAM ASSISTANCE COMING SOON. RIDE THE PALOOKAVILLE EXPRESS FREQUENTLY.

Where flamingoes go to die

2008-03-05T12:25:00.000-08:00

And while I was sitting here wondering if the Marbles' attempt at filth was really as strong as it could've been [think about the powerhouse that is Divine], a pair of "fashion" students stroll up for help.
Wow. Talk about dense. Knocked the attraction right out of the box.

Promises, penal colonies and pallindromes

2008-03-05T11:04:00.001-08:00

I think I'll do one of those MySpace surveys here. Give you some hints of honesty and whatnot.

But the Iberic Peninsula comes back strong

2008-03-04T14:31:00.000-08:00

In the mail yesterday: Ilegales "En Directo" [Not to be confused with the horrid, human feces that is the mid-90's boy group of the same name that has done everything within its power to tarnish the otherwise serene image of the Dominican Republic].

The last time I owned this marvelous piece of rock and roll from Spain, it was in tape format, it was the 80's and I lived slightly above the equator. These Spaniards pull together as a three piece a bizarre version of surf guitar over New Wave/punkish beats driven by Oi! optimism with certain dives into thrash and hardcore pools. Weird but effective. I had been waiting a long time for this one.
I like the soft, almost poetic songs that revolve around the singer's strange sense of placement in the world, amphetamines, financial irresponsibility and how to properly pay off fines.
Recorded live in 1986.

Hello sailor pt. X

2008-03-04T14:00:00.000-08:00

Don't ask where some of the "Hello sailor" posts have gone. I'll go with the Guitar Wolf answer and maybe leave it blank. Whatever. I'll tell you what I don't like: I don't like headaches and I seem to be getting them more and more frequently than what I think I'm actually entitled to. Maybe the frequence in which these headaches appear has a direct correlation to the unofficial sabbatical of the suicide of slow turners. I'm in my 30's now.
In this time I have gotten a tattoo. Fallen off a tree [playing Tarzan of the Apes no less AND in front of a potential Jane]. Been in one massive car wreck. Been pawned around by the high sheriffs. Had my foreskin trounced by my blue jean zippers (recovered nicely -- but not without some pain). Had two successful Art Basels with my partner Patti HER. Seen an awesome The Eat reunion show, slowly rebuilt my record collection, had a near miss, had cute car troubles that took me on a chase across Florida, drank at the fucking awesome Copper Rocket in Maitland, was bitten by a kitten, met nice people, perfected certain dishes I like to prepare and learned some new ones.
And it means nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Some good things have happened that stand out better than others but in the end when pavement threatens to enter the mouth; good or bad cease to matter. I wish I could tell you something clever my old man has taught me but truth be told I probably wasn't paying the attention deserved when it was uttered. I do remember the one about living without conflict. I like that one cuz it applies to any facet of life. I'll pass that down to my kids or nieces/nephews. I'll tell 'em to make something useful for others because things like that tend to last and last and last.
Consumer goods tend to last. Good ones anyways.
Identify your capybara named Tahoma that comes in with a slow creep and seeks to destroy you.
Identify, neutralize and create.

Any Negative Approach fans out there?

Revolución juvenil en Mongolia

2008-03-04T09:05:00.000-08:00

When I think of bad things, I think of you.

All hands bury the dead

2008-03-04T08:59:00.000-08:00

Last night's pick, Maniac Cop III was unavailable for reasons only K-Town could answer. However, plan B was Wes Anderson's The Darjeeling Limited which was a very pleasant selection. The requisite humor and color palette were there and the plot itself was as simple as Anderson has gotten in my opinion but layered enough to force interpretation within the context of his Jacques-Yves Cousteau mythos. And I ain't talking 'bout the two bottles of Jamey-baby that magically disappeared with some assistance.

On a related note, Scally makes baby-killing rock and roll. That, you can count on.

A friend's voice via electronic delivery

2008-03-03T09:25:00.000-08:00

My dear friend Yago S. Cura; former educator, hincha vero, and phenomenal poet was recently featured on NPR's "This American Life" -- a fantastic and informative show. Click on the link below [or cut and paste, whatever your heart desires] and click on the free download link on the TAL webpage. The topic is a sordid tale of betrayal and love within the skeins of New York City, funny and sad all around like that sweet and sour sauce you all love so much. See? I do eventually get to the "real info for real people" aspect of the blog. I'm not all dick and fart jokes, you know?

http://www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?sched=1232

Goats, gourds, graphics and gangbangs

2008-03-03T07:52:00.000-08:00

I'm taking a little walk with a lady friend the other day through the residential portions of Coconut Grove and I am armed with my digi cam thinking, yup, I'm gonna take me some pictures that I'll post up on my blog and make some snappy social commentary on. What a load of shit. Nothing to take photos of save for a neat looking strangler fig, some old stickers on concrete, two bunches of flowers, a suspiciously low-priced convertible Beemer and plenty of dog turds. I guess I'll put some SPRY 7783 stickers up instead.

Sometimes things last for a reason

2008-03-03T07:18:00.000-08:00

And sometimes they don't. Like a good Jameson's buzz. Make my Irish whiskey pool dream come true. Donate via my PayPal account. Donate today, tomorrow -- donate with frequence! We can make this happen cuz this is better than helping the cancer kids or a leper colony in India or some shit. This is the real deal [insert clever Evander Holyfield jargon here].

The digital age

2008-02-28T10:58:00.000-08:00

Soon my digi cam will help. Very soon. Pixels baby. E-mail me about some cool SPRY 7783 mail art and/or handmade stickers. My e-milio is in the Abel F. data on the right.

The soothing sounds of whales making love

2008-02-28T10:53:00.000-08:00

Not owning The Eat's "It's Not The Eat, It's the Humidity" complete awesome discography CD will make you (and this is lab tested!) a complete asshole. Stop the corruption! Buy it at www.alternativetentacles.com!

Now that we've gotten the Zombie Wars under control

2008-02-28T09:15:00.001-08:00

This was this past Monday Movie Night's pick, which Vigi had won. What a great treat. Check out the cast!

Holler howls however holy has

2008-02-27T10:09:00.000-08:00

This is the real deal. Beautiful Cayman Islands. Simply beautiful.

For my 150th turn here we'll buy into syndication!

2008-02-27T10:02:00.000-08:00

I am so full of shit.

Aim low. Feel nothing. Such is the mantra of a slow turner. Incorrigibility is a sin like a peroxide blonde is a sloth.

Know nothing. Admit nothing.

Fear everything.

This is a world where Pangloss' theory of all is for the best satisfies no quota... no, make no foolish mistake: this world will bite you at every turn and make you wish you were dead. But alas, it is in that very satisfaction of demise that one must take comfort. Maybe Mishima wasn't so off mark. Maybe Feudalism is the new black and Vogue didn't tell us. Well, cuz I gotta close 'em with poetics of the high order: Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. The Cayman Islands' mascot is a turtle.

Yours isn't.

You feel nothing.

You feel less than nothing.

Of whores and men

2008-02-21T14:54:00.000-08:00

Jesse calls me this morning with the following news:

01. My girl's car got broken into and had her purse plus an xbox stolen.
02. My car got broken into and they ran off with some pens and my work apron.
03. That weird neighbor with the dog who's up at all hours was attacked by a hooker he brought home with a hammer. There's blood all over the hallway.

Fucking awesome. We live in a fucking ghetto.

When I think of bad things, I think of you -- and you know who you are.

Hot curly weenie

2008-02-11T06:53:00.001-08:00

I can hear again!

And it keeps spilling from my ears...

2008-01-15T17:11:00.000-08:00

Well, 2008 was bound to start like this, given how incredibly awesome 2007 was. What, with all the bullshit there towards the end and whatnot. Fuck it. Too many words with the letter "w" in them. That's an invitation to Tahoma-blues baby. I got better things to do now. Dinner with a ladyfriend, Fox's for those drinks people owe me, and sterile drops for my ears so I can sleep like a nice person. Anybody got a good ENT they can recommend? Fuck it. I'm gonna get zetetic. Monday Movie Night has become the "in" thing to do in Kendall. Put a call in if you're wondering. Let's see what bucket of shit this year brings.

Naughty crunchy bits

2007-12-12T16:09:00.000-08:00

I know I've been a bad blogger this year. I know. What can I say? The year's been shit and it's ending shittier... I take comfort however, in being one of the "Boyz of Bazel" as you can see in the post below. Scary creepy cool! Look out for the show in January AND the calendar! Firefighters eat your hearts out! My boy AHOL's got a new web presence you ougttha check out at http://www.aholsniffsglue.com/. For reals yo.

The Boyz of Bazel

2007-12-10T15:55:00.001-08:00

Much to my mother's dismay! The Boyz of Bazel ain't nothin' t'fuck wit!

Amazing news for everybody

2007-11-19T15:19:00.000-08:00

So... guess who graces the cover of this month's update of Current Biography?

That's right! Ms. Miranda July!!!

Looking to score well on that exam?

2007-10-24T15:44:00.000-07:00

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Looking out for your soul

2007-10-24T15:39:00.000-07:00

The ever-working Lolo (Sweat Records fame) has another doohickey under her belt now. It's a blog about meat-free shit for you'ze types who don't consume animals, which is okay by me. I'd rather see dead people than dead dogs. I'll link it up soon, but you should copy and paste from here.

http://meatlessmiami.blogspot.com/

I need to get access to a computer late at night when I'm drunk. Who wants to give me a hand?!

Things to do in Miami if you're not dead or robotic

2007-10-12T10:30:00.001-07:00

That's where I'll be. That's where you should be. Spry 7783 is rob-o-tronic.

September gave me anxiety...

2007-10-10T16:55:00.001-07:00

And that's why I went missing. I'm part of the 30 "Suck Club" now. Let's see how that manifests itself on these pages. Also, not having a computer around 4:30 in the morning helps out too. Well, a computer with Internet access and whatnot... don't get me started on floppies or jump drives or CD-R's or what have you. The technologies I support improve pouring speeds. Oh well. Sue me.

On related news, the incredible piece of shit summer that I just had (not in any way shape or form a continuation or addition to the Summer of Love) has not filtered itself enough to be written about, but believe me, it's coming and it has nothing to do with assisted shenanigans or bad booze. Okay, wait. It wasn't that bad. If anything, it was pretty funny.

Mrs. David Beckham

2007-08-31T13:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I wanna boink the broad, but that doesn't mean that while I've been slacking here, I haven't been thinking of you. Oh, I think baby. And I'll tell ya: go to http://www.alternativetentacles.com/ and buy The Eat's discography pronto. What a fucking amazing thing that is. You'll thank me for it. Also, you'll notice on the listing of "Abel F. Approved" bloggin' doohickeys that Miami's Sweat Records' blog is linked for your pleasure. It's the latest rage in "what's going down in South Florida."

If anybody knows what bar Ms. Amy (formerly of Hoolie's) is working at, please let me know. She's one of my favorite bartenders (right after Nina!) and I'm afraid the other gals there won't cut it with my alcoholic needs. Okay!

Classy moments during arts and crafts

2007-08-25T13:24:00.000-07:00

Circa 28 is a classy joint. Class.

I like hip things

2007-08-16T13:43:00.000-07:00

You better believe it!

There's a stranglin' buzz

2007-08-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

So finally, the month from Hell comes to an end. Story to come serialized in these here pages of tautology and current information. Cuz I know you care. My keep is real and it is sweet.

When old creeps creep in

2007-07-18T17:42:00.000-07:00

C'mon, you knew I was gonna get zet at some point. I still turn slow. I cook in my own juice. The suicide of slow turners is still in effect. The internet is a miracle. Does anybody else around here wanna boink Mrs. David Beckham?

Kleinman must be stopped...

2007-07-18T12:59:00.000-07:00

It's the right thing to do. Seriously.

Turbulent moments in my turban

2007-06-10T16:02:00.000-07:00

This one is short and sweet solely to thank all the individuals who came by the Fortune and Freedom show last night in Miami's dynamic Wynwood Arts District. It was fun and everybodys pieces looked pretty fucking good. The live music was abrasive like it should. And tonight is Sunday night. I think we all know what that means.

Back from the cold

2007-06-06T16:22:00.000-07:00

I still dream of a capy named Tahoma who has it out for me. In dreams prior, we were friends.